I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
