Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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