you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
