At least make sure they are 18
Why
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
