Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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