im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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