i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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