Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize