I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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