Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
What a dumb baby whore.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
