his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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