I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
