You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
