I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My cat gives me a boner
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
