He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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