Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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