My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
