I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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