In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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