I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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