my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
