We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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