I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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