Nicole vs. Life
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
