my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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