I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
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