This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
