she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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