I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
