For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
