I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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