the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
