I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
