if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
