Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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