I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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