we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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