At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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