you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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