you guys were way drunker than both of me
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
