No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
