He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
