she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
