I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
