How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize