Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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