Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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