I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
