careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
