just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
