Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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