i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize