At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
