the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
