If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
