I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
