My friends, they love my intelligence
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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