Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
