How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
