how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
