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beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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