My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Randomize
